The born-agains are trying for a big score here at Carleton,
rallying behind their own personal prophet we can all smile & cry for.
For his AIDS-soggy Botswana,
for his overcame-all-odds-thanks-to-god fraud,
his let's all hold hands and do what Jesus would do -
get cozy with God & stay up all night tellin' him secrets.
Let's pick a pop from the vending machine like Jesus does,
pick a major like Jesus does,
let's all just let it all hang out & do the Jesus, baby.
I'm ambivalent with Percy,
the mural in the tunnels, the smilers handing out pamphlets, even the
headline news Mormons -
I welcome them all to campus.
I don't agree with Percy.
Jesus Christ is not my saviour.
This shouldn't be us & them - it should be us & an infinite thems.
This is where the Charlatan should scream "SHAME!" in bold face
- but they won't because the Ontario government will never abolish Catholic
schools
& they won't because We Stand On Guard For Thee
& they won't parce que nous portons le Croix, toute de Canada devrait
porter
le Croix.
Give me I agree with Ishmael and his Campus Jihad for Allah
& give me I agree with Sanjay, I agree with Esther, I agree with gloomy emo atheists
& give me some especially quotable parts of the Charter,
& give me a campus without Percy's disciples trying to get me to agree
- yes, when'll they be parading through the quad,
gleefully agreeing with Percy with thumbs-up held high
& Percy's mug bobbing over hands & heads in faux gold frames
& Percy Akbar, Percy Akbar
- you cowards, you fuckin' wanks
- "oh, I agree with Percy"
& just write all over campus
"I AGREE WITH JESUS"?
But then the street chalk, the posters, the ads in the Charlatan,
well, they wouldn't be there.
And fuck you,
- trying to lure in naive freshmen between Thursday classes with a cure-all
for your drinking, your grades, your overbearing parents,
your emo haircut, your punk music,
your hip-hop Fridays & your jam-band 4:20s.
- Let's just rock out with Jeeee - Percy,
yeah, Percy. This ain't about God - it's about Percy.
- what, you don't like Percy? Fuck you.
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